Coping with Singleness in the Season of Love

In the season of love with Valentine’s Day upon us, you are probably surrounded by love. There are countless people posting pictures over their significant others saying that it is the “first of many” Valentine’s Day with their person. You might even have friends who are saying ‘yes’ to spending their lives with someone as their person pops the question. Surely, you are a good friend and respond with dozens of heart emoji’s. Nevertheless, how do you do all of this when you are single? Here are three ways to cope with being ala cart in the season of love.

Chin Up

First of all, it is so easy to go around being the Eeyore of your friend group. You could easily show up to gatherings feeling like a third wheel, and mope the entire time you are around your coupled friends. But how will this help? Be confident and someone you would want to be around. You are single, go mingle!

Chin up on Valentine’s day and think positive. Positive thinking creates a sense of confidence and strength even after that third or fourth bad date. Secondly, you appear happier when you think happier thoughts. If you are constantly saying negative words, you will put yourself down. Invest in yourself the way you would want someone else to. Repeat mantras in your head when someone asks if you are ever going to meet your person. Tell yourself that you are worthy. Tell yourself that your time will come. Tell yourself that you are whole even without a a counterpart.

Me, Myself, and I

There are so many ways that you can take care of yourself when everyone else seems so dependent. Take me, myself, and I on the date you would like to have with someone else in the future.  Shamelessly buy a bottle of your favorite drink, snuggle up with your soft blanket, and spend a Valentines day reading a book. Go shopping, and take advantage of some retail therapy. Buy that purse you have been eyeing since Christmas. Pick up the things that Santa did not bring this year. Take a day off of work. You know that you will be less stressed if you turn your ‘out of office’ message on, and did not even look at your email for a day. Spend some time getting a massage, or even taking a day trip to see some friends that you keep promising you will visit. Even if you do not leave your house, take advantage of that paid time off allows you to get some much needed chores done.

When the time is right and that perfect person enters your life, you will be more likely to simply enjoy their company instead of totally depending on them for happiness. Plus you will be able to feel like you are your best self in many ways when you take the time to care for your mind, body, and spirit. 

Yes, now it is time

You probably knew that this advice was coming. Go on a date! Put yourself out there. There are lots of things to do, especially on Valentine’s day, just for singles, just Google it! You are not alone!  Perhaps go on a speed dating adventure or mixer, or meet that blind date your friends have been wanting to set you up with for a while. Studies show that loving relationships lead to happiness and well-being.

Even if you don’t end up in some sort of happily ever after, you at least met someone knew. Better yet, you probably learned more about yourself. Did you think that date went poorly because the way your date bit their fork every time they took a bite? Did they talk about their ex the entire time? Did they do a little bit too much research on you before you met? You may not have realized that these were red flags to you before.

So, put your feet up. Take a bath. Go to bed early. Sleep in. Whatever it is, take care of yourself. In the season of love, it is easy to get caught up in who is missing in your life and how you want to be in a relationship. But remember, the common denominator in all of your relationships is you. Take care of yourself, and the right person will come along.